I’m Back…But Where Have I Been?

Before I dive into this post I just want it to be known that this is most likely going to be a ramble, stream of conscious like post, written mainly because I’ve been MIA for way too long and feel like that should be addressed before I dive back into my “usual” content (whatever that means). In my own honest self-deprocating opinion, this post can honestly probably be skipped, but we are in the middle of a hurricane (tropical storm) here in CA (yes you read that right), so if you have nothing better to do and want to help improve my readership numbers, please do continue on.

I am back and it’s been almost four months since I’ve written anything meaningful. I did pop back in here in June, but let’s be honest that wasn’t my best work. In reality, I haven’t written an intentional post since May when I declared the month of me.

So where have I been? What made me take the longest break in the history of this blog? I really wish I had a cool, legitimate answer that would justify why I went missing. I wish I could say I was traveling or I got hired by an awesome sustainability outlet (anyone reading this want to hire me?). I wish I could say I bought a house or better yet a farm. It even would be at least interesting if I could come back with a story about falling while hiking and breaking my leg (knock on wood that doesn’t actually happen, I really don’t want it to), and I’ve been recovering the last few months. But alas, I have no real excuse, nothing I can truly pass the blame on to.

So where have I been since May? In all honesty, I’ve just been here.

Now that’s not 100% true. I’m being a little hard on myself. There have been some things going on in my life that I could blame as a distraction. Here’s a list just to get them out of my head and you all up to date because, unlike I usually do, I honestly don’t think I’ll be going back and writing entire posts about even the post-worthy things from the past few months, instead we will just be looking ahead.

• My main source of income closed their marketing department and I was left for the first time without a job and without unemployment to fall back on. I’ve lost several jobs in the past due to closing departments, restructuring and other things like that, but I always had unemployment to fall back on. Losing a big chunk of income as a freelance writer is a whole new level of panic.
• I found a new client that almost matched the client I lost (this was so lucky).
• I started really prioritizing my health, eating at home, and working out.
• I got really into bread making.
• I went to two really awesome concerts!
• I started several new side projects and started taking current side projects more seriously. I’m not ready to start talking about all of them yet, but if you aren’t already and you have any interest in cats or gardening/sustainability/homesteading, please go follow my IG accounts for those. Those are just 2 of the things I’ve been working on.
• I’ve been dealing with family member health problems. I’m fine, but I’ve been struggling with other family members.

And that’s about it. I can’t even say I’ve been traveling or camping or building my community.

Granted I will give myself the grace to admit that most of those things were stressful and required some adjustments, which could have easily made me miss a week or slow down on my writing, but I also know I need to hold myself accountable for the fact that taking four months off is ridiculous. Especially considering this blog is (supposed to be and will be again) a priority.

I went into this year planning to really focus on this blog, grow it, produce some good quality content, and give it the attention it deserves and I haven’t done that. I still want to, and part of the point of my writing this post, is to forgive myself for the past few months and recommit myself to this project.

I love this blog. It gives me the opportunity to explore all my ever-changing interests. It’s a semi-journal for me and a part-time therapist. It gives me a place to write about what I want the way I want.

In all honesty, I didn’t just walk away from this blog for four months. It’s been constantly on my mind. I’ve sat down to write countless times (writing this took me a good 30 minutes to just start), but just couldn’t get words to come out. I’ve made lists and new lists, and more lists, of blog topics trying to get myself organized. But I just couldn’t make myself do it.

I’ve got my theories on why that is, but I’m not going to go into that…yet. I know I said I wasn’t going to go back a rehash past things, but this is just a general topic I may want to dig deeper into later.

I’m not really sure how to wrap this blog post up. I warned you in the beginning that this was basically a rambling stream of consciousness that I think has now run out.

All I can say is I am back and I am committed and I’ll be back soon with a new post.