• Life,  The Other Stuff

    Anxiety and Negative Self-Talk in the New Year

    Going into 2020 I had all these plans, just like everyone else, for the new and improved me. I was going to workout more and eat better. Save money. Eat out less. Start reading again. Stay on top of my blog post and make better content. Embark on all those projects I keep saying I'm going to do, but never even start.

  • Life

    2019 Nearly Killed Me – A Look Back on the Year

    2019 made me it's bitch and I honestly feel like I'm lucky to be standing. This year tested me physically and emotionally; and looking back I failed myself at every turn. I thought 2018 was a tough year for me, but I made the most of it. I grew. I learned new things. And I started to get better. A lot of good came out of the bad of 2018.

  • Food,  Life

    Colima Burgers

    And then there is Colima Burgers. And as cheesy and dramatic as it sounds, I mean this will all sincerity, since coming back to California, walking into Colima Burgers has felt like coming home each and every time. Colima Burgers is a family run greasy spoon that I have gone to all my life.

  • Food,  Life

    New York Pizza

    I was little, it was while I was still in elementary. I have always been a HUGE shave ice fan. I was home with a babysitter, which in my mind was rare. I feel like for most of my childhood, my dad was usually the one home with me and if I did need to be watched 90% of the time I'd either be with my brother and/or his wife or with my dad's best friend's family. Anyways, I digress, this day I was home with a babysitter, possibly my cousin or my future niece (another story), and my dad came home with a shave ice!

  • Life

    4th of July

    Now when I answer the occasional Facebook survey or someone asks me, "What's your favorite holiday?" I'll usually give them the traditional Christmas answer, but when I really think about it, the 4th of July has always given me so much more excitement and joy then most other holidays. And although I know that I have better memories, for some reason, when I think about the 4th, I find a lot of reasons to smile.

  • Life

    Summer is here and I’m working on it

    As I predicted at the end of my spring post, I am still a mess. In some ways I'm still the same mess and in other ways I am a new mess. I'm still working on many of the same things I was three months ago, but have fixed many of them and made progress on others. I'm still a mess, but as I hoped, I am a slightly happier mess.

  • Life

    10 Years

    This Tuesday (6/11) marks the 10 year anniversary of my high school graduation. The ending of one chapter and the start of a new. For everyone, their high school graduation means change and new beginnings. It's one of the many stepping stones into adulthood. For me it marked the beginning of the end in many ways, and that sounds much more dramatic than I intended, but I can't think of a better way to say it. This wasn't just the closing of my childhood chapter and beginning of my adulthood one, it was the first nail in the door to my childhood. Before the calendar year would end my life…

  • Life

    Spring has arrived and I am a mess

    I am a mess. I’m fat, frustrated, probably a little depressed, and 100% lost in life. I’ve been back in California for almost two months now and things are not going as I had planned. Worse than that it seems like all the progress and promises I made on myself and to myself have gone out the window. When I left Hawaii, I still had a lot of work to do on myself to get to who I want to be and where I want to be, but I also felt like I had made a lot of progress and somewhat mapped out and set myself on a pretty clear…

  • Life

    My First Month Back in California

    Today marks exactly one month back in California for m and I must admit, this has not been the homecoming I had been dreaming of. It barely feels like I have been home that long, yet, at the same time it feels like I haven’t lived in Hawaii for years. I had big dreams coming home. Originally my husband and I had major road trip plans. We wanted to spend weeks on the road, living out of our car and exploring places like Joshua Tree and Zion. After my mom’s stroke, I knew that probably wouldn’t happen, but still I dreamed of days filled with hikes, friends, and fun. Instead…

  • Life

    Phone Calls

    I just want to pick up the phone and give you a call. I want to tell you about how bored I am today. I want to tell you about the bad dreams I’ve been having. I want to tell you about the new restaurant I tried last weekend and all the things I have planned this weekend. I want to tell you about how stressful this move is. I want to tell you how hard everything has been lately. I just want to talk to you. After my dad passed away my mom and I had a pretty strained relationship. It wasn’t until she moved to Utah that things…