Quarantine Day 84-96: My final entry

I have decided this will be my final Corona Journal Entry. I haven’t yet been called back to work, nor do I know when that will happen. The country is no longer in full quarantine, yet also still not open. It’s kind of this weird we all wear masks and are afraid to come close to each other, but we can go to bars and go shopping again. It’s really very strange and I personally don’t have any interest in going out to crowded public spaces yet. On top of all this, protests are still happening all around the country, American’s everywhere demanding long over due change.

So, as I mentioned in my last post, I have spent the last few weeks educating myself and having lots of generally uncomfortable conversations. As a white woman, married to a first generation Hispanic man, for the first time I took the time to ask him very personal race related questions which led to some very interesting late night conversations.

Outside of that and on the top topic of my usual self quarantine, self improvement journey it has been a strange few weeks. In many ways I have stayed on track and been doing really well, but I also at the exact same time feel like I fell into too much of an automatic cycle and stopped self reflecting and improving. I’ve been doing great with my working out and I even started running again about 2 weeks ago, but outside of that I kind of let all my other priorities slip away.

I haven’t worked on my meditation in weeks. I did a really bad job of sticking to my one book a month promise. (I’m a little over halfway through last month’s book, and this month’s book is just sitting on the shelf begging to be read.) Despite trying to cook more and eat healthier, the last few weeks have contained way more fast food then I am happy to admit. While at the beginning of quarantine I was doing a lot of self care, painting my nails, being consistent with my nighttime routine, the last few weeks I’ve been lucky if I remember to put moisturizer on. And to top it all off, over the last few weeks I’ve done a horrible job of keeping in touch with the outside world. I love you my friends and family, I’m just a crappy texter. But now that I am consciously aware of all my slip ups, I will do better…I hope.

Looking back on this post so far I realize it sounds like I haven’t been doing much expect watching TV, talking to people and working out, but I have had a few fun projects. The husband and I planted a garden. We also built our own compost bin and we are currently working on an outdoor storage bench. I’m hoping to make a dedicated wood-working post later on to share how we did these things.

So, if I’m not going back to work yet and quarantine isn’t over yet, why am I ending my Corona Journal entries? Well, the short answer, I don’t want to write them anymore.

I’ve learned a lot of great things during this time about myself. I’ve broken some bad habits and picked up some better ones. Overall this has been a relatively good few months for me and I was able to share it all, somewhat, through my journal entries. However, the style I wrote them in and ultimately what they turned in to didn’t really lend themselves too much to serious story telling, experience sharing, and self reflection, which is really more of what this blog is about. Also, knowing that I HAD to write a journal entry every week, summing up what I was doing and how the world was, while it did give me consistent content to share it ultimately ended up making me lazy when it came to creating anything else. These journal entries were guaranteed posts so I didn’t have to worry about creating anything else, which shame on me I should have better self discipline, but I don’t, so therefore I am removing the excuse.

I’m hoping by ending these journal entries, it will force me to start writing about more of the things I really want to write about and share. These journal entries somewhat took over SimplyAlex and I think it’s time I take it back.