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My New Job Made Me Hate Myself
Everyday that I came home from work I couldn't stop the thoughts running through my head like, "You're going to turn 30, broke and working at ###." or "You're almost 30 and you already failed at your career." or worse, "So what good is your college degree?" Taking this job, this job that I desperately needed left me feeling like the biggest loser ever and I hated that. I wanted to be proud that I was working, that I was figuring out a way to get by, but all I could think about was how it wasn't supposed to be that way.
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Plans for a Healthier September
My body aches. I get headaches and stomach aches all the time. My anxiety is back at full force and my emotions are all over the place. My clothes are fitting tight again and my muscle mass is disappearing. I'm just one big mess again. So this month I've decided to get back on track and I'm listing my goals here to keep me in check and hold me accountable.
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Quarantine Day 20-23: I’m Still Here
Last time I wrote an entry, I mentioned that I thought quarantine was starting to get to me and that the days were starting to blur. I was still being productive and getting things done. Now, however, I don't think quarantine is starting to get to me, I know it is. I'm still working out every day and I've been keeping up with my 30 day hula hoop challenge, but besides that I haven't done much more. I'm still getting my butt out of bed every day before 8 am, usually around 7:30, but I'm going to bed earlier and earlier every day.
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Anxiety and Negative Self-Talk in the New Year
Going into 2020 I had all these plans, just like everyone else, for the new and improved me. I was going to workout more and eat better. Save money. Eat out less. Start reading again. Stay on top of my blog post and make better content. Embark on all those projects I keep saying I'm going to do, but never even start.
