I sat on my computer for nearly four hours yesterday, trying to put together an appropriate post. I would write and delete and write and delete. Nothing I wrote seemed right. Nothing I wrote seemed like enough. Having someone so full of life, someone so good, pass away so suddenly at only 27, makes no sense, so why would talking about it be any different.
You Won’t Always Have More Time
When my dad was sick, I spent nearly everyday by his side. I gave him hugs and kisses every chance I had. And I was constantly saying “I love you.” The day he died was hard for me. It was hard for me on many levels, not just the obvious one. The day he died, I got very angry at a nurse who was practically force feeding him. The day before my dad died, he was moved to a hospice facility, so these were new nurses who didn’t know us or his case. My dad had not been able to eat solid foods for a long time at this point,…
Camping at Davis Camp
Last summer I went camping for the first time and I loved it. Every time we stayed at Davis Camp in Bullhead City, Arizona and probably in part due to my deep connection to the river and part reasons I will never understand, it is now one of my absolute favorite places.
Family & Community – What I Miss About Military Life
Although in a lot of ways I didn't embrace the military life, I was a military spouse for three years. My entire time living in Hawaii was thanks to and shaped by the military. The best time of my life thus far was all thanks to the military.
2019 Nearly Killed Me – A Look Back on the Year
2019 made me it's bitch and I honestly feel like I'm lucky to be standing. This year tested me physically and emotionally; and looking back I failed myself at every turn. I thought 2018 was a tough year for me, but I made the most of it. I grew. I learned new things. And I started to get better. A lot of good came out of the bad of 2018.
Long Line of Old Friends
Friends don't last forever. Friends come and go. The people who matter to you in Elementary...in Middle School...in High School...in College...eventually won't matter to you. Friendships change, die, and fade away. This is what (most) everyone is told growing up and it's what most people believe. Not me.
4th of July
Now when I answer the occasional Facebook survey or someone asks me, "What's your favorite holiday?" I'll usually give them the traditional Christmas answer, but when I really think about it, the 4th of July has always given me so much more excitement and joy then most other holidays. And although I know that I have better memories, for some reason, when I think about the 4th, I find a lot of reasons to smile.
My First Month Back in California
Today marks exactly one month back in California for m and I must admit, this has not been the homecoming I had been dreaming of. It barely feels like I have been home that long, yet, at the same time it feels like I haven’t lived in Hawaii for years. I had big dreams coming home. Originally my husband and I had major road trip plans. We wanted to spend weeks on the road, living out of our car and exploring places like Joshua Tree and Zion. After my mom’s stroke, I knew that probably wouldn’t happen, but still I dreamed of days filled with hikes, friends, and fun. Instead…
I just want to pick up the phone and give you a call. I want to tell you about how bored I am today. I want to tell you about the bad dreams I’ve been having. I want to tell you about the new restaurant I tried last weekend and all the things I have planned this weekend. I want to tell you about how stressful this move is. I want to tell you how hard everything has been lately. I just want to talk to you. After my dad passed away my mom and I had a pretty strained relationship. It wasn’t until she moved to Utah that things…